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Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real
Ashley Burgess-Payne • June 29, 2020
Fear is a primal instinct, a part of our genetic make-up designed to assist survival, and it has served us well over the course of human evolution. However, in today’s world does it still serve its purpose or is it an Achilles heel hindering the fulfilment of potential?
Does Fear Exist in the Real World or Just the Mind?
Fear is defined as ‘the threat of danger, pain or harm’ and despite what we may think, it is in fact a self-inflicted state of mind (generally). Fortunately, it is one that can be controlled with self-discipline and a lot of practice. Are you up for the challenge?
Unlike bygone ages today’s fear generally doesn’t stem from a fear of attack or physical violence such as that which our ancestors faced. Of course, there are still events that occur around the world which incite real fear and panic, this cannot be denied, but for the majority of people the fear they experience is from the threat of their own mind and a fear of the unknown/lack of control/damage to their ego.
Lose Your Illusion
The concept of ‘control’ is an illusion created by humans to provide a sense of security, comfort and familiarity. However, it is one that does not really exist, at least not to the degree we like to think - the only thing we can really control with any guarantee is ourselves.
However, this is not to say we cannot influence other things, in fact when we focus on the right areas, we discover that we can influence much more than we initially thought possible. But the problem is we tend to focus on trying to control the uncontrollable, thus neglecting what we can influence as a result.
And this is where much of the emotion of fear has its roots - we focus our energies in the wrong areas of life!
Instead of controlling and managing ourselves/our mind (the controllable), we allow it to become a dictator and run wild with its overactive imagination.
Pain in the Present or Another Time?
Very rarely does the pain and discomfort we experience in life exist in the present moment. The pain that is a common experience for millions of humans around the globe today is the self-inflicted illusory discomfort created by the mind stemming from either past or future events but not the present. Think about your own emotions and fear. What is the trigger event? Does that fear stem from the moment you are currently experiencing? It is highly unlikely that it does. It is more likely as a result of your overactive imagination creating worst case scenario narratives (the ‘what if’ thinking) that are unlikely to ever come to fruition or have any basis in reality.
Remember, it is through our internal self-dialogue that the real, long-lasting damage occurs. Often it is not the event itself that causes the discomfort but how we internalise it after the fact and the time we afford it by replaying it over and over again in our minds with the overlaying narrative we have created. One that is often self-deprecating, unkind and exaggerated with no real basis in reality.
Where are you focusing your time and energy? If you can’t influence it in any way, why are you worrying about it? No amount of time, effort and energy will change its outcome.
So, What Can I Control?
There are very few things we really have any control over in life, however the things that we do control are extremely powerful, if used correctly.
The most powerful is our mind and the other is the ability we have through our actions to influence and affect the present moment and as a result, the future (A.K.A: Cause and Effect). It is only through positively affecting the present that we can create the future we desire.
Sadly, many people are not aware of this fact and therefore spend a great deal of time detached from the present moment and instead choose (either consciously or subconsciously) to expend their energy either replaying the past, worrying about the future, or trying to influence and control things that they simply can’t affect in any way. This only leads to negative emotions such as guilt, shame, anger, frustration and disappointment.
You simply cannot influence that which is not within your ‘circle of influence’ no matter how hard you try. Stephen Covey is famed for writing about the ‘Circle of Influence’ – the things that we can and cannot control. He believed that by focusing on what we can influence and having the wisdom to identify and leave alone the things we cannot we feel more in control and as a result we feel happier. What would happen if you started focusing on the things you could influence instead of worrying about what is out of your control?
Remember, the past is done, there is nothing we can do to change it, we can only learn from it. The future is yet to be determined but it is greatly influenced by what we do here and now. Instead of wasting energy on things that you can’t control focus on what you can influence.
The power of story – worrying about it won’t change the outcome
As mentioned above, often the fears we experience are not caused by reality, but by the stories we make up in our minds.
Our thoughts and stories, the narrative we have created in our minds are powerful. How you use language can have a detrimental impact on how you view yourself and as such how you move through life and respond to its events. If you use negative language you will start to believe and act in accordance with the language. Eventually it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy as you begin to look for evidence that supports your beliefs.
But the stories and narrative that play out in our mind are not necessarily the truth. We are experiencing life through the filtered lenses of our thoughts and narrative. To successfully manage fear and manipulate it to your advantage you need to start paying attention to your thoughts and whether they are serving you positively or negatively.
Ask yourself, how would my life change if I changed the stories and narrative that are playing in my mind? What would happen if your started thinking best case instead of worst-case scenario? Do not be held captive by the self-created fear that stems from your own self talk. Self-talk is powerful and dangerous when used incorrectly. Don’t feed your inner critic as over time you will begin to believe this false truth, thus empowering it and turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
View how you see the problem/see fear and how you approach it will change. Instead of asking yourself what could go wrong, ask yourself what would happen when it goes right. Imagine what you would try if you knew you couldn’t fail!
The One Guarantee in Life
If there is one thing guaranteed in life it is that nothing is guaranteed. For some this lack of certainty paints an uncomfortable picture of doubt and indecision. But when we begin to understand this, we can start to let go of the human need for control and certainty. Instead we can start focusing on getting comfortable being uncomfortable. This is essential if we are to grow and develop as growth does not occur within our comfort zone.
The Discomfort of Growth
Generally, humans do not like change and will go to great lengths to avoid it. We are creatures of habit and we like to know what is going to happen next. We don’t like unpredictability. Many would rather remain within the perceived safety of their comfort zone than take a risk of trying something new, regardless of how unsatisfied they are with their current position because it is familiar. They would rather stay with the known than face the unknown even though it could potentially reward them with significant improvements to their life. This mindset hinders development and leads to stagnation and feelings of frustration and a lack of belief in one’s own capability as what is envisioned in the mind does not come to fruition, not through a lack of ability, but due to a lack of action. You have to step out of your comfort zone to grow. Just like a muscle, there can be no growth without tension. It is only by learning to live with the temporary discomfort of the unknown and unfamiliar that it can be transformed to the familiar (short term pains for long-term gains).
How many times have you dreaded doing something new in life only to discover that it wasn’t as bad as you had envisioned it? Start backing and believing in yourself more.
You Can’t Avoid Fear
It is understandable that humans want to avoid the stressors that cause fear and any other uncomfortable situations that cause emotional distress. However, if you are to fulfil your true potential you simply can’t go through life trying to avoid those situations. It is unhealthy and an impossibility. As Seth Godin says, ‘learn to dance with fear’ and turn it into fuel to succeed.
So, the next time you are feeling fearful, ask yourself whether the fear you are experiencing is coming from the present moment? It is unlikely that it is. Next, ask yourself whether it is a rational fear, or is it a state of mind caused from overthinking about a past event or worrying about a future event e.g. something that may, or may not even happen? And if nothing else, ask yourself what you would say to a friend who was experiencing your current emotions. We are often able to deal much more effectively with others’ matters than our own. But sometimes this simple change in approach completely changes our outlook on the issue. It can be a powerful tool to snap us out of our own mind.
When you feel fear remember to focus on the present and think about the source of the fear, then ask yourself what you can do in this moment to influence and improve the situation. If it is the past, let it go, this cannot be changed, you can only learn from it. And, if it is the future, you can only influence it through action. Sitting and fretting over it won’t change it, only the right action taken now will.
But most importantly of all is to remember to be kind to yourself. Everyone experiences fear, it how you choose to deal with it that makes the difference.
What was once unfamiliar is now today’s normal. When was the last time you tried something new?
Written by Ashley Burgess-Payne.
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According to the Health & Safety Executive, over 11 million workdays are lost each year due to stress at work! The latest Employment Law Bulletin from our sponsors Parfitt Cresswell Solicitors focuses on the topic of stress in the workplace and the actions that employers can take to defend themselves against claims arising from this. In the Employment Law Bulletin expert Philip Luff covers: • What stress is • The duties of an employer • The potential action that an employee can bring against their employer for work related stress, and offers tips on how employers can best protect themselves against workplace stress claims To read the article and find out more about Stress Related Claims in the workplace click here . If you would like legal advice regarding an Employment Law matter take advantage of Parfitt Cresswell Solicitors’ complimentary initial video/telephone consultation with one of their legal experts. Call 0800 999 4437 or email enquiries@parfittcresswell.com today to arrange your free initial consultation.
This article is brought to you by Parfitt Cresswell Solicitors Extension of the Furlough Scheme (CJRS) On Saturday 31st October the Prime Minister announced a further national lockdown in England to address the increasing rate of Covid-19 infections throughout the UK. This lockdown commenced on 5th November and will remain in place until at least 2nd December 2020. Under the previous tiered ‘local’ lockdown arrangements, the Government had announced two Job Support Schemes which were intended to succeed the Coronavirus Job Retention Scheme (furlough scheme). These schemes were known as the ‘JSS Closed’, aimed at businesses that had been forced to close under the tiered restrictions and the ‘JSS Open’, a scheme for businesses who although affected by Covid-19, were still able to open. These schemes were due to replace the existing furlough scheme when it ended on 31 October 2020, with the Government support significantly reduced when compared with the original CJRS. However, along with the announcement of a national lockdown throughout November, it was also announced that the CJRS would be extended for a further month. A few days after this, the Chancellor announced that this extension of the furlough scheme would now run until the end of March 2021. As such, the JSS is not likely to resurface until at least April 2021 (if at all). How had furlough changed By way of a reminder, the CJRS has been through several changes since its introduction in March 2020, from the Government initially funding 80% of an employee’s salary up to £2,500, with government support reducing in recent months as restrictions eased. In October 2020, the month before the scheme was due to end, the government contributed 60% of unworked hours up to a cap of £2,187.50, with the employer paying the additional 20% along with employer national insurance and pension contributions. How will the extension work? In simple terms, the extension of the Furlough Scheme puts employers back to the same level of government contributions that were available in August 2020, with the Government funding 80% of eligible employees’ salary, but the employer having to contribute both employer national insurance/pension contributions themselves. The current understanding is that the furlough extension will operate largely as it did before, however the following now applies: • The extended scheme will run until 31 March 2021. • The employer or employee are not required to have previously used the CJRS • To be eligible, the employee must have been on the employer’s PAYE payroll by 23.59 on 30 October 2020 and the employer must have made a Real Time Information (RTI) submission for that employee by that date. • The employee can be furloughed either full-time or flexibly (for part of their hours). Employers will need to report and claim for a minimum period of seven consecutive calendar days. • The government will pay 80% of eligible wages for any unworked hours, (up to a cap of £2,500) with the employer paying employer NIC and pension contributions on these unworked hours. Employers will need to pay the employees for any hours worked as per usual. • The employer can choose to top up to 100% if they wish but is not obliged to. • The Job Retention bonus for employers (£1,000 for each employee kept on until the end of January 2021) will no longer be able to be claimed in February as planned, but will possibly be introduced at a later date to help avoid the impact of the furlough scheme ending. • The Government will review the scheme in the New Year, so it is still possible that increased employer contributions could be required prior to the end of March. As with all these announcements, further detail and guidance will follow from the government in due course. If you require further legal assistance regarding the CJRS or and other employment law issue, take advantage of our complimentary initial consultation (available via telephone or video call) today by calling 0800 999 4437 or email enquiries@parfittcresswell.com
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